


falling for you

by N1VA



Series: old stuff new exposure [19]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, No happy endings, Suicide, Suicide Notes, anyway, if youre suicidal/otherwise not doing well feel free to message me, or call the suicide hotline, please please please dont take the permanent solution to temporary problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:34:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29276271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1VA/pseuds/N1VA
Summary: [An alternative ending to Joker and Batsy’s conversation in TLBM where Batman tells Joker they aren’t greatest enemies.]
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Series: old stuff new exposure [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149803
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	falling for you

Icy cold wind sends a shiver through Joker. With shaking fingers he brings an unlit cigarette to his dry, cracked lips. He cupped one hand around it, using his other to light the end. The first drag nearly made him cough, his body rejecting the thick smoke, be he forced himself through it. It was still light enough out that he could see the people walking beneath him. 

He was forty stories up, on top of some building or another. He wasn’t sure which. Normally he makes it a point to know these things, but currently he couldn’t care less. Joker had no interest in where he was. His only thought behind picking this spot was to get the most fall damage out of his landing. 

He’d broken into the shithole of a long ago abandoned business and walked up forty flights of stairs with the intention of walking right over the edge. After all, the one person he did care about hated him. So deeply in fact, that Joker saw him vibrate with barely controlled rage at the mere mention of his name. 

It wasn’t that he was upset his Bats hated him, it was just that… Well… After so much time, he’d thought maybe Batsy would take the hint. That Batsy would see that Joker was committing crimes only to get his attention, that he was only running to see if he’d chase him. That he’d finally understand that for Joker, hate meant love. Not that he’d ever say that, of course, but the real point was in showing Batsy how much he needed him. Joker meant it with every fiber of his being when he’d said Batman completed him. It was true in every sense. 

Joker sighed, exhaling slowly. He puffed out a couple neat crisp smoke rings. He didn’t notice or care how hard the shivers racking his body had become. He reached into the inside of his coat, digging around in the pocket. His fingers closed around smooth thick paper. With no small amount of hesitation Joker placed the handwritten letter on the stained concrete next to him. The envelope was quite literally sealed with a kiss. 

He thought through what he’d written one final time before nodding to himself. The words swirled around him, smokey dancing letters against the darkening sky. It appeared as though they were coming from his mouth with every smoke ladened breath he took. 

That’s probably not real…

Not that it mattered at this point, Joker thought vaguely. One last drag before he stubbed out the cigarette onto his own wrist. He welcomed the brief reprieve the slight pain brought him.

Joker wondered if Batsy would save him. He didn’t think the Bat knew where he was, what he was mere minutes away from doing. He couldn’t help but hope. It’s not like he wanted to off himself, but… If Batsy wouldn’t take him… Then he wasn’t going to bother. Life had been cruel to him. The way Batsy told him he wasn’t his greatest enemy was the final blow in a lifetime of beatdowns, and this one hurt the most. The memory of Batsy’s rejection sent spikes of indescribable pain shooting through Jokers chest. He left the letter on the ground.

Joker stood up. His feet perched right on the very edge. He took a deep breath. Steadied himself. Gazed down. Swore he saw eyes glare right back at him. He closed his eyes. And then he took a step forward. 

He imagined this is what his Batsy felt like leaping from rooftop to rooftop.

That thought made Joker laugh and laugh and laugh until he hit the street with a gush of red brighter than the lipstick stain he’d left on his darling’s letter.


End file.
